Day Six

Something you hope you never have to do.

I hope that Aaron and I will never have to experience loosing a child. It is one of my greatest fears.To experience that would probably kill me.

I hope that we will never have to deal with a deadly illness.

I hope that we never have to experience severe financial problems.

Number Five

Something you hope to do in life.

There a PLENTY of things I hope to do in my life!

I hope that we travel and get to experience what this world has to offer! I would love to see New York, Italy, and England.

I hope that we will both be successful in our life together.

I hope to go to more concerts and plays. :)

I hope to keep on growing and be the best person I can be.

But none of these things come close to how much I hope to be a mother. This will not happen for awhile yet, but I hope that he/she will know how much we love them and can't wait till he/she is in our lives. I hope that we will be able to provide him/her with the best life possible.

:)

Day Four

Something you have to forgive someone for.

I believe when you forgive someone, it doesn't mean you forget what they did. It means that you are taking back all the energy and time you have wasted being upset or angry with this person.

The person I forgive is my Ex.

I forgive you for all the lies you told me. For all the name calling and hurtful words you have said to me. I forgive you for every time you made me feel worthless and didn't matter. I forgive you for the cheating.

If I didn't go through all this with you, I would not have realized that I deserved much more. I know we did have some good times, but by the end it was terrible.

I used to hate you so much- during our relationship and afterwards. I don't anymore. Hate is such a wasteful emotion and took so much out of me. I don't feel anything for you.

I hope you have a good life.


Wow, that actually felt good to write! :)

Day Three

Something you have to forgive yourself for.

I really thought long and hard about this. To tell you the truth- I don't have anything that I need to forgive myself for. I am at peace with the decisions I made in the past. I am trying not to live my life with regrets, because at on point, it was exactly what I wanted.

I am happy that I took the risk and let Aaron know exactly how I felt about him when we were just friends. I knew others liked him as well, but we had a connection that was indescribable. We both have lost friends because of our relationship- but I would do it again in a second!

I also don't regret anything that I said to Megan before our friendship ended. I always assumed (guess I was wrong) that we had a friendship where we could be honest about anything. If you ever read this, and I doubt you will, I would say it to you again in a heartbeat. 

:)

Favorite Things Wednesday!

1. I have a new favorite shampoo, thanks to my friend/hair stylist Sarah. It is a little pricey- but worth every penny!

2. My favorite mousse.

3. I found this magazine last month and fell in love. It is also one of my favorite websites. Now if Yarmouth would just get the new issue, I'd be a happy girl!

4. I have stumbled upon these two shows and I am completely obsessed! I think it is because some days, more than others, I have the baby fever! (I'm kind of surprised that it doesn't scare me off!)

(Above picture: Pregnant In Heels)

Day Two

Something you love about yourself.

Why is it always hard to think of something positive about yourself, but so easy to come up with the negative??

I thought about this last night and did come up with something.

I love that I can see the good in people. This can be a hard thing to do in my line of work, but I can always look past their "front" that they put out and see that they are good people, they have just been dealt a shitty hand in life. 

30 Days Of Truth

Found this on a blog called "The Mommy Matters". Tried to follow the blog but couldn't figure out how to do it (still getting used to this I guess).

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life..
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for. 
Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.


Day One:  Something you hate about yourself.

I am extremely hard on myself. I really am my own worst critic. I tend to over-analyze everything I do and second guess a lot of my decisions. This is something I have been working on for awhile now but there are times when I sink back into this way of thinking. I need to constantly remind myself that it is OK to make mistakes and the world will not end because of it. Making mistakes and failing are apart of life and I need to learn from it. There is always the potential for growth.

What's in Your Beach Bag??- Book Tuesday!

Summertime is here!!! Well, you can't really tell if you live in Yarmouth, but it's here!! One of my favorite things to do in the Summer is to lay outside with a good book.

As you know, I love to read! When I found this on a particular blog (Reading with Martinis) that I follow I wanted to participate. All I have to do is post what I would like to reading this summer, link it up, and I could win a prize!! I love prizes!! :)

I hope to make a dent in my to-read pile, I've kind of been slacking a bit.


So, here are the books I would like to read this Summer!

Young Adult~

Adult~

What's in your beach bag?

Mix Tape Monday!

I LOVE Theory of a Deadman! They are amazing! This band has gotten me through some tough times (and some pretty good times as well) in my life. Almost every song they have put out I can relate it to a point in my life.

So here our my Top Five Favorite Theory of a Deadman songs.

1. Santa Monica- This song was very popular around the time I left for Truro. Every time I hear this song it reminds me of when I was packing up all my things and leaving my secure little life I had in Yarmouth . I would be four hours away from everything I knew- needless to say, I was petrified! But, Thank God I went through it! If I didn't, I never would have met Aaron!

2. Say Good Bye- This is pretty self explanatory. This is my break up song with my ex. What is kind of freaky is that this song was playing in the car during one of my many attempts to break it off.

3. I Hate My Life- Let's face it- we all have THOSE days! Everything annoys you, nothing works out and you want to give up. I would listen to this song after countless hard days at work. It's a great song!

4. Bad Girlfriend- Just a fun song! Aaron makes up his own words to this one. Ex: "She likes to pull my hair when I'm making grilled cheese!" :)

5. All or Nothing- This song was pretty close to being our first dance at our wedding. We didn't want to go with a "traditional" song for the first dance. We eventually chose something else- but we love this song and it has special memories attached to it.

:)

I've been a very bad blogger! :(

SORRY!!! I haven't wrote in a week! Work and life have been a little hectic.

Just wanted to write this little post to let you know I have a few days off after tonight and I have loads of ideas for blog posts!

So don't give up on my blog! :)

Spread Your Love Week!

I love myself. Three simple words, that unfortunately in today’s world are seldom heard. We are always trying to fix those little problems that we think are wrong with us rather than embracing what the universe has blessed us with. You should love yourself whether you are tall or short, or thick or thin… remember that you are beautiful.

To help spread this message and help every woman realize her true beauty Victoria of Garden of Eden Designs and Lindsay of Scenic Glory, are asking you (fellow bloggers, designers, crafters, and writers) to come together and share why you love their-selves. We as a community should show that all shapes and sizes are beautiful. It is our spirits that should shine through.

 

 This is something I have always loved about myself. I have been told by several people since I was a little girl that I have a beautiful smile.
I have found that in my line of work, my smile has actually helped me while working with the youth. My smile can be pretty contagious and seems to put them at ease!

What do you love about yourself???

 

Day Dreaming Of Baby....

*No, I am not pregnant. Phew!*

Some days, more than others, I think about little baby Fleming. And a lot of the time I do wish she/he were here right now, but then I remember- there are still things Aaron and I want to do first. Still, I can't help but think of the day when it'll finally happen.

So I wanted to share a few of my day dreams with you!

First of all, our son/daughter will have their own little pair of Converse shoes. He/she just wouldn't be our child if they didn't have a pair!

I saw this onesie back in the day when CD Plus was in our mall and have been kicking myself in the butt ever since for not buying it. Lucky for us, you can order it online!

I have seen a few baby girls around town wearing these cute little flower hats! She WILL have one!
 They are adorable!

If we have a boy, he will wear sweater vests just like his dad!

I look foreword to the day of going through baby clothes at the Gap and Old Navy.

And, you are going to think I'm crazy, but I am looking foreword to maternity clothes. Not the weight, the clothes!! Just so we're clear! :)

:)

Google!!

While searching Google, I typed in "Pre Baby Bucket List" and guess who's blog shows up??? MINE!!!! It was the second blog listed!!
I'm sorry I'm being nerdy- but I never used to find anything about me on Google before! We all have been there, we've Googled ourselves due to boredom.

Just thought I would share it with you! :)

Number Ten- CHECK!!!

Almost two months ago, Aaron and I started a Pre-Baby Bucket List. We have now crossed off number ten on our list- have a spiritual reading. It was my appointment, Aaron did not attend, but she told me a few interesting things about him as well.

I guess I'll start with the basics. I made an appointment with Kelly Muise at the Whole You (which is on Water St.). I didn't know really what to expect, I had a short reading with her once at a wedding exhibition and became very intrigued by it.

The reading started off with her explaining her gift and a little of her own history. She also told me that the session will be recorded and I will get a copy of the CD! I really liked that idea- it made it very easy to go back and take notes for the blog.

*I am going to say now that I am not putting everything she told me on here. Before she starts the reading, she asks if there is anything I DON"T want to know. If you know me, you know I told her I want to know everything. So, instead of telling the "bad stuff" I'll feel you in on the good!

So the reading began with a little about myself:

She told me that I was in the process of a growth in my life. Last year was a little hard on me but I came through it. She told me that I am a strong woman, to never doubt it and that I have come along way. She also said that I was a people person. I am meant to work in the helping profession because I give off alot of positive energy. I also "feel deep", which means when I love, I love with all my heart and when I'm hurt it's hurts right down to my toes.
I do not like conflict! I will try to avoid it when I can. I also have a hermit side, where I need to have my own space from people. She said this means that I am comfortable in my own skin.

Work:

A big change is coming! "What once was will be different". This change will not in any way disturb me too much. She also reassured me that my job is still "there" because sometimes I do get a little anxious and think it will not be.
She told me though that I will not be there until I retire. In the next seven years (starting May 1st) a job opportunity will come. It will be in the hospital/clinical field.
Aaron will be leaving his job in the next three years. Something will come up for him and it will be a job where he works with his hands (she kept indicating a key board when she told me this).

Relationship:

She told me that the man I am with loves me unconditionally and she doesn't get to say that often. He is where he wants to be. He has made a life time commitment to me and it is the "real deal".
She said I will live to be an "old bag"! She also said Aaron and I will live a lifetime together but he will pass on first. She reassured me that this will not happen for a long, long time and we will live a happy life together. I will not marry again.
Now some happy news: we will have two children!!! A boy and a girl!!!! :) :) Within the next 18 months I'll be pregnant. She knew about my fear of infertility and she told me not to be afraid- that I will have two children in the seven year cycle.
One child will cause Aaron and I a few gray hairs BUT we will never have to bury them and they will make us proud!

Random things:

She asked me if my car was making a noise- it is. She told me to check it out but it is nothing serious.
We will be going to two gatherings (ex: wedding) by the end of September and we will both really enjoy them.
We will go on a trip in the next 18 months.
We will be attending something musical this summer.
We will have an amazing summer this year.
Christmas will be very special.

Health:

I'll have a little bit of eye trouble in my left eye coming soon. I thought this was pretty neat because I was wearing my contacts at the time.
During pregnancy, I might have gestational diabetes. She say this could be prevented by changing eating habits early. Good thing I plan to!!
I will have a little bit of arthritis when I'm older.
She said she did not see cancer- but she said she would not be surprised later on in my life I might have to have a hysterectomy. It will not interfere with my life, and even says that I will say something like "I should have done this years ago!"
She knew I had a little issue with my knee. I have never told anyone that before.
My sleep pattern is not the greatest.  I do not get enough rest. She said it is like I am drained and running on empty.
She asked if I went for my blood test- I said no. She told me to GO! There is an unbalance that can be fixed and I will feel much better for it.

"Company":

She told me that I have alot of company following me. They give off energy and worry about me because I am stressed out alot.
My grandfather was there, he had his hand on my shoulder. She knew he died when I was little and has been watching me ever since. Gram was also there. She said gram died very quickly and it had to do with something in her head- like an aneurysm. She said that there was an object of hers that I have and she wanted me to keep it.
Anita was there too. Kelly knew that she died when she was young and her cause of death was she couldn't breathe. She asked if I ever feel a presence, like someone is there or get random thoughts of these three. I said yes. She told me this is there way of trying to communicate and they watch over me. She told me one of the best things you can do for a spirit (mind you, you shouldn't do this in a public place) is to say their name. It means so much to them to feel remembered.
She said she actually got goosebumps because she could sense how much they loved me.
Now this is a question for my high school friends: There was a presence of a girl who committed suicide and another girl who died in an accident. For the life of me I can't figure those two out!

Phew!! That was a lot of typing!

I highly recommend making an appointment with Kelly. She is very friendly and down to earth. I think anyone who has ever lost someone should go see her. It was an amazing and awarding experience and would go again in a minute!

My Happiness Project :)

~I have been reading the book The Happiness Project and came up with my own~

My 12 Personal Commandments:

1. Be Megan!
2. Lighten up.
3. Don't be afraid to dream.
4. Let it go.
5. Simplify.
6. Stand up for yourself!
7. Express love.
8. Take chances.
9. Forgive.
10. BREATHE.
11. Act the way I want to feel.
12. Get inspired!

For the next Twelve months I came up with areas I would like to work on.

- Energy: Sleep full eight hours
               Exercise more
               Organize!
- Money: Create Budget
               Save money for a rainy day
               Save money for trip
- Love: Appreciate
            Fight fair
            Express more
            Date nights once a week
- Family: Show love and gratitude
              Plan family get together
- Work: Ask for help
             Enjoy the small victories
             Prepare the night before
             *It's OKAY to fail*
- Friends: Don't gossip!!!
               Make time
               Plan a get together
- Attitude: Lighten up!
                Laugh!
                Smile!
- FUN!: Be silly.
             Take time for things I enjoy
- Spirituality: Explore.
- Books: Make time.
              Don't worry about results.
- Creativity: Try something new
                   Journal
                   Don't be afraid to fail
- Self: Reflect.

For June I decided I would work on energy first. If I don't have the energy that I need, basically I wouldn't complete the rest on this list (and I really want to).

So for June I plan to:
Go to bed earlier
Purchase Melatonin
Get up earlier (I failed miserably at that today!)

*Blood Work* This is something that I have been meaning to do for a while now but I kept waking up too late to do this.

Exercise!
Yoga
Walk
TRAMPOLINE!!! :)
Exercise video

Cut down on sugar
One fast food meal a week
Special K Challenge

Wish me luck! I'll keep you updated!